I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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