I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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