Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize