Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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