And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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