did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
