I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize