Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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