That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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