hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
