He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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