my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
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