don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
this just has baby written all over it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
