If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
