A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
