theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
they're like a gay fantastic four
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
