Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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