my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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