she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
