O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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