the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
