You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize