I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize