Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
