It's like God shit irony all over that family
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
