All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ketchup is God's man juice
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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