Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize