adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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