So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
