I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
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He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
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I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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