he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just blew my weed a kiss
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
