Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
