Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.