Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it

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(330): View more from Ohio

I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(419): View more from Ohio

I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.

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(773): View more from Illinois

while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"

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(518): View more from New York

Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.

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(216): View more from Ohio

I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating

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(817): View more from Texas

But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be

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