We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize