i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so let's talk penis.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize