you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
