Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just had sex on a roof
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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