im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
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Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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