Your tits are I can't wait for
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
