how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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