The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
