He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
