i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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