He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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