He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
