We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
