Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
