the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
