apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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