A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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