i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
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Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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