Where is the hickey?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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