last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
