You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
