and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
I just put together something from IKEA so thatβs mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
