Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize