I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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