I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
