you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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