ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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