ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
