she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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