just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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